Mission Time.

So, I'm about to leave on my mission to Singapore. Until I get back, I will be using a different blog (which will get regular updates, unlike this one). It'll definitely be my most interesting blog yet, so make sure you follow it. The link is sistergopinath.blogspot.com. See you there! :)

CALL!!!

"Dear Sister Gopinath:

"You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Singapore Mission. You should report to the Provo MTC on August 17th, 2011. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Malay language."

So, I screamed when I saw "Singapore" and I screamed when I saw "Malay." (The Singapore Mission also covers the country of Malaysia.) Of course it was somewhere I never actually considered.

I will be teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in a largely non-Christian land... in a land next door to India, the land of my fathers. I keep going back and forth between being so joyful/peaceful/optimistic/grateful, and being an overwhelmed nervous wreck. "Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted" (2 Nephi 4:19). I trust God. He knows what He's doing.

Greater happiness than I have yet experienced is waiting for me. Challenges lie ahead, as well as many miracles.

I am so lucky. I get to be a MISSIONARY. This is something that's so meaningful to me already, and something that I'm sure will continue to become more and more meaningful to me.

This will be the adventure of a lifetime.

Mission Papers update...

So I have everything but my final interviews in. It is a matter of weeks before I know where I will be spending the most influential 18 months of my life so far.

Have you ever looked forward to something so much that you would just daydream about what it will be like... what you will say, how you will act, how it will feel? Did you do that when you were little? Was it real stuff like getting married, or less real (but still plausible ;]) stuff like acting in a major motion picture/becoming a celebrity?

I'm definitely that kind of person, but haven't imagined anything too vividly lately.

UNTIL this week.

All I can think about is how it will be to get my mission call. Thinking about when I go to the mailbox and catch my breath because the big white envelope is THERE. Finally. Thinking about what I'll do to CALM DOWN in the hours until good friends come over so I can open it with them there. Wondering how it will feel to have it in my hands. Wondering if I will feel sick or feverish (almost certainly). Wondering if my hands will shake. Wondering if I will look dorky in the video of me opening it. Wondering if my parents will be able to hear through the phone where I am going through all the cheering. Wondering if I will cry. Wondering if I will laugh. Will I feel scared? Will I feel at peace? Where?? When? Language?

"Dear Sister Gopinath,

"You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the _________ _________ Mission. You should report to the Provo MTC on _______ __, 2011. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the _______ language."

??????????

IT IS SO CLOSE! I CAN ALMOST FEEL IT!

I love the Lord!

In case you wanted to know this...

Mission papers are only kind of fun, not thoroughly delightful as I somehow thought they would be. Last night I spent about two hours in the Medical History section recounting every scrape of the knee I've had since I was born. Any time anything was wrong with any part of my body. Although it took quite a while, now I can look at it all in front of me for the first time, and I realize that I've survived 20.5 years pretty successfully.

And then there's physical after physical to come, and also a dentist appointment, and right now I basically have no relationship to anyone in the medical community out in Provo like I do at home in Tennessee. So there's that search, and once I find a doctor, he/she had better like me because I'll be there pretty often over the next couple of weeks...


And also, hopefully I have an okay experience with the needles related to vaccinations. I feel like I'm a good patient; I cooperate well and submit myself to basically anything the doctors need to do to me. But the last couple of experiences I've had with needles have been WAY more painful than they should have been... so it's hard for me to feel fine about it when I don't know whether or not to trust the girl who's sticking me in the arm/where ever else. But it'll be fine :) It won't last forever.

***

Anyway, REALLY what I want to say is that I'm so excited to get my mission stuff going! My dream is finally coming true (well actually rather than finally, it feels like it's coming so much sooner than I imagined it would come). I know it's going to affect the rest of my life. I feel so excited to be able to dedicate myself completely to something so motivated by love! To go out and serve, to help others know who they are, to learn of and feel God's love for them, learn why they are here, know who God is and what He is like, find true healing in themselves and in their families, and know how they can be with their families and loved ones forever.

I am not going so I can preach or teach. I am going so I can serve, for I will be called to serve.

There is no greater cause.

What's new with me?

So, I met the most wonderful person in the world. We became best friends. I have never learned so much from a single person before now.

He made me more honest and less afraid to be real and to say true things instead of swallowing them. He taught me by example to be comfortable owning up to my problems and my faults--to be humble and honest and to know myself.

He taught me to embrace and expand the way I see the world, (I have always wanted to, but didn't know how) to think for myself and not be afraid of it. He gave me security in thinking differently from others, and showed me that I am beautiful and unique and it's good that I am the way that I am. Even my weaknesses are connected to strengths and are part of my beauty. That is true of others as well.

He taught me the importance and the beauty of strong families and family relationships.

He taught me to stand up for what is true and right. He taught me that truly living the Gospel will require me to do and say things that make people uncomfortable, and that I shouldn't be afraid. God is with me. It's His work.

He taught me that when hard things happen in life, that's when life is meaningful and rich. Life is hard--there is no escape--and we don't need an escape. The Lord will bring us through and we can come out better, stronger, wiser, closer to God, and more compassionate.

He taught me that serving others is the only way to live a disciple's life. And He taught me that the Gospel is about love. Real love. Love that transcends and endures forever.

That chapter in my book is over.

Now I'm struggling to figure out where to go from here.

I love BYU.

BYU is amazing. There are so many good, good people here. I sprained my ankle last week, which was really frustrating, but it's like I keep running into angels wherever I go... in Wyview, on campus, and even at work. I've been so taken care of... people who hardly know me, or who frankly don't know me, keep helping me.

My classes are amazing. The Spirit is all over campus because great things happen here, and truths are taught here. Every discipline of study is related to the gospel. The mountains are beautiful, and remind me of whose hands I'm in. It's definitely not a monocultural bubble--my mind is being opened to so many new ways of thinking. I know people from all over the world, and I even have some good, good friends from here in Utah.

It's way hard here, but I'm getting better. So many things to learn, great people to meet, things to accomplish. I'm so glad Heavenly Father didn't let me feel good about going anywhere else. My blessings outweigh all of my trials. I keep receiving little tender mercies from the Lord, like food for my soul, right when I need it--usually it's through other people. I've got to get better at rising to the challenge, and I've also got to be more prayerful even when I'm super busy. But it's going to be good; He will help me.

...And now I've got to go study for midterms. Ahhh! :)

I love my life. Honestly.

Haven't been able to say that in a while.

My life is an adventure. It's beginning to feel like a story that Jesus and I are writing together--trying to let Him contribute most of the ideas, though. He is real and He never blinks. Life is hard for me and for everyone else, but He's there waiting for me to take His hand as if to say, "Come, let's work on it together."

All of my posts mention religion, and I'm sorry if that is a problem for you, but all of my days mention Him as well.

---

"You've got to give a little more than you take; you've got to leave a little more than was here. You may be prideful of the steps that you take, but keep one thing clear: You're just a player in a much bigger plan, but still you have to give it all that you can. The very measure of your soul is at stake! You've got to give a little more than you take."

I just watched Joseph: King of Dreams on Sunday night. We bought it at Goodwill for $2. It is beautiful--almost as good as the Price of Egypt.

"You know better than I; you know the way. I've let go the need to know why; I'll take what answers you supply."

Really faith-building, and honest. I loved it.

---

I also loved my experience singing in sacrament meeting for my last Sunday here in TN before I leave for Utah. I really felt the Spirit during and after my song. Like, burning in my chest. It was not a performance--it was not about me. My goal with singing "I Will Not Be Still" was to communicate what was in my heart, to share my testimony, and to be used as an instrument in bringing the Spirit to the hearts of people who heard me. I accomplished every one of my goals. The song is about how the gospel moves me and touches me until I feel I must act on it, I must serve the Lord by sharing what I have seen and felt and experienced.

I really did sing my testimony. It came from a very honest place, and meant a lot to me. People told me that they could see that as they watched me. That is a blessing. They also said that they felt the Spirit strongly as I sang... what more can you hope for? I feel humble. It shouldn't have been an awesome day to sing a solo, because I woke up sick that morning, and even had to leave sacrament meeting before just to blow my nose. Then I came back in just in time to sing, and it actually went really well. I definitely felt like I was receiving help. I really am "just a player in a much bigger plan." But I'm so grateful I was able to help the Spirit touch people. I feel so blessed to be able to participate in music, to assist in this marvelous work. It's kind of a small thing, but it's also kind of a big deal. I was able to be a tool to help people -- people I love, too -- have an experience with the Holy Ghost. That is the coolest thing ever.